This story is part of a blog series called, “Your Story: a conversation on mental and emotional health and disabilities.” Please read with a heart open and understanding -free of judgement.
Trigger Warning
Please be aware that the interviewee mentions her struggles with depression and feelings of anger If these topics affect you in any way please stop reading, talk with a someone you trust, or contact a mental health professional immediately. You may also call the Suicide Hotline 800-273-TALK (8255).
A Note On Editing
Minor changes were made to help make the interview easier to read.
By way of introduction
This next story is shared with us by Molly. Readers can tell that she is a spitfire, and she’s not going to let her depression beat her into submission, nor will it take away the precious moments she gets to spend with her son.
Having a positive outlook through your mental and emotional health challenges can make all the difference. Unfortunately, for some, it is very difficult to see the silver lining around the dark suffocating clouds. Thanks you Molly, for showing us a different perspective.
Interview
When did you realize there was something mentally or emotionally wrong? And what did you do about it?
I just wanted to sleep all day, everyday, and I let it happen.
Are there/were there moments in your life where this mental/emotional struggle becomes more present and you’re more aware of its existence?
This emotional struggle becomes more present when I’m angrier than usual. I feel defensive, angry, and irritated easily. That’s when I know it’s getting bad.
How has this experience affected your relationships with others?
People have seen a change in me because I am not as social as I usually am. I just want to stay in the house all day and not go out. Plain and simple, I could care less if someone wanted to hang out.
What methods have you found are beneficial for your treatment and healing?
My son. Interacting with him on a daily basis keeps me going. Also, watching my favorite shows on television or Netflix help me as well.
What keeps you from receiving or accepting treatment and healing?
I just believe that it is a matter of time, and I will get better somehow, some way.
What symptoms or behaviors of your mental/emotional health experience are the most difficult for you to handle? For example: self harm, disordered eating and sleeping, suicidal thoughts, loss of motivation.
Loss of motivation is the most difficult for me to handle, especially being a mom. I have so many responsibilities, and my son needs all of me. I cannot let it get to me and control my life because it will harm my son. He doesn’t need to see that.
Have you shared your struggles with family and friends? If yes, what have their reactions been? Are they supportive, or do they wish to keep your struggles hidden?
I have shared my emotional struggles with my mom, and she is understanding as well as patient. She knows I will get back to the old me; I just have to work on it.
What inspires you to stay hopeful through this experience? Or how do you find hope during this experience?
My son inspires me to keep going. When he is happy, I am happy. We are a team, and that’s how it needs to be. I need to give 100%.
If you could travel back in time and visit yourself just before or just after recognizing there was something amiss, what would you tell yourself?
I would tell myself that life will throw you lemons, but make sure you don’t let that engulf your entire life. Don’t let it drag you down. Take the lemon and make lemon meringue pie!
If you met someone else going through a similar experience as yourself, what advice and words of courage would you give them?
I would tell them to be patient with yourself; there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The darkness will lift, and you will feel unstoppable.
Is there any final part of your story or thoughts of encouragement you wish to share with the readers?
I am not ashamed to admit that I have clinical depression. It is part of my life now. But I take it day by day. It isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but when I see progress, that’s what really matters. I cannot go backwards – only forward.
Thank you Molly for sharing your story.
Continuing The Conversation
The final question I asked as part of this interview was whether she was willing to connect with others about her story. She agreed, and said that she would be willing to talk with those interested over email as well as social media. To continue to protect her privacy though, I will not disclose her email or links to her social media pages in this post. If you are interested in connecting with her, please send your request to loveyourself@uplyftwellness.com, and I will forward your message to her directly.
Feel free to continue the conversation on mental and emotional health in the comments below. But please understand that your comments are being moderated and will be deleted if they are hurtful, hateful, or inappropriate in any way. This is a safe space to share your story about mental and emotional health and disabilities. Please do what you can to keep it as such.
A Note For Readers
If reading Molly’s story has inspired you to share your own story, please click here to be taken to the introductory post where you will learn where the inspiration for this blog series came from as well as how to participate.